Feng Shuing the Bed

My friend was telling me that she was sick of being single and she had just spent the weekend 'feng shuing' her bed to hopefully attract more guys. 


She didn't even need to tell me what she meant. I knew exactly what she was talking about - position your bed so that there is space on both sides as opposed to having one side against the wall. It's usually point 7 or 8 on the list of Feng Shui tips for romance (the first one usually being display a pair of Mandarin ducks or paint your SW corner pink). The Secret goes even further asking you to only occupy one side of your the bed only so that there is space for another person to enter your life. (Well, it goes even, even further asking you to make space in your garage for your perfect man's car as well).


Most of my life, I've slept with my bed space on both sides. During these periods, some of the times I've had new men enter my lives and sometimes, I've been single. I know girlfriends who have read Feng Shui books and have shifted their beds who are still not any closer to being attached. And I know others who's bedsides are backed against their walls and THEIR lives are constantly peppered by new men.  

In classical Feng Shui, having space on both sides of your bed does help the energy flow better in your room and it is a position you should strive for. Being backed up against a wall, its almost like you are trapped in a corner with limited options and energy doesn't actually circulate properly. 

But it's not going to guarantee that a new partner will enter your life. Your romance luck is determined more by other factors - i.e. the shape of your house, what areas of your property are missing, the structures around your property and most importantly, your Ba Zi. If you are in a period with no relationship luck, all the space in the world on both sides of your bed is not going to make a difference.  

But a bed can help steer you in that path. You can place your bed so that it taps a direction that is supportive to you. And you can position it in your room to ensure that the energy is channelled best. Both these measures will ensure that you are well-supported and that you are not stuck or hindered. And then as most wise men say, what's meant to happen, will happen.

Don't buy a house this year

In Singapore, or even in Asia, its not uncommon for people to consult an astrologer about which year they should get married, when they should buy a house, start a new business or even name their baby. I grew up around this and I find nothing weird about this. It never occurred to me how strange this could sound to some people until I TRIED to advise my European friends on such things based on their Ba Zi chart.

And yes, the TRIED in CAPS as the resistance I faced was immense. Most don't get the concept but more importantly, most don't like the idea as well. Why should a key decision of life be dictated by someone else? It does come across as quite disempowering and I have to admit, sometimes in Asia, this can be taken to the extreme. I've seen people who will not and sometimes even cannot do anything without a consultation with their astrologer.

But the idea of disempowerment stems from a misunderstanding of this concept. Lets say you would like to ask the boss for a raise. Obviously, you can ask him any time you want to but wouldn't you mostly like wait until he or she is in a good and 'giving' mood? Preferably at a time when he or she thinks you have done a good job on a recent project. This not only makes asking for a raise easier but also increases the chance of you getting it!

We've all heard nightmare stories about closing a deal on a house. You think you have the house, then you can gazumped, the seller withdraws the offer, after exchanging the contracts you realize there is substantial damage to the property, etc. And yet we meet people who have negotiated and exchanged contracts smoothly with no drama at all. And I think that's the difference a good or bad period makes.

A Ba Zi reading enables a Feng Shui practitioner to study and tune in to the rhythm of your life and to gauge the favourable and unfavourable time periods to make certain decisions. You can buy a house anytime but if you do so in a period that's favourable for you, there will be less of a struggle and honestly, can't we all do with a little of that?

Salt to taste

A phrase you will come across frequently in most recipes. The amount of salt to be added is never specified as it varies from dish to dish or person to person.

I am not really a fan of salt so I never add too much to the dishes I cook. The last time I cooked a pot of chicken curry for my friends, one of them tasted it and promptly proceeded to pour in the contents of half a bottle of soy sauce. Yes, he’s THAT annoying but that’s not my point here. 

Adding salt to a dish is a bit like what Feng Shui practitioners do.

A good cook tastes a dish first before adding the salt. If a dish is already too salty, you wouldn’t add more salt to it. Instead you’d be looking at adding cream or even more water to take off the edge. But if there’s very little taste, you would up the salt content by, oh, I don’t know, pouring in some soy sauce perhaps.

Houses and people are the same. Some houses are stubborn – people living in such houses would find it hard to introduce changes in their life. Other houses are too yang – those living here always complain that life is never still. Something is always happening. While you would try and stir things up in the former, you’d want to create a more settled energy for the latter property.

Some people are hot-tempered. You don’t want them sleeping in a red-coloured room which is going to only add to the fire that is already in their charts. Some are just lazy and it’s important that their houses are not overly damp or dark which will hardly serve to energize them.

Feng Shui, like cooking is an active almost alchemistic (is there such a word?) process. You take what you have and you try and balance it, keeping in mind what you are trying to achieve. Which is why when I read certain books and they say things like to get a husband put a rose quartz crystal near your bed stand as you sleep or to get a windfall, ring a bell three times around your work area, it troubles me.

No one would ever say for the perfect chicken stew, always put in 3 tablespoons of salt because it just doesn’t work that way. You need to taste the dish, understand it and then add just the right amount of salt to taste.

What's Feng Shui got to do with Mickey Mouse?

Did you know that the animators who created Mickey Mouse deliberately put gloves on his hands? This was to prevent children from being turned off / scared by his claws. He is a mouse after all and mice do have sharp little claws. Its really hard to imagine soft loveable Mickey with these harsh appendages. 

Mickey Mouse image is copyright of Disney

When we see claws, we think vermin or even evil - think of the fingers of the wicked witch. Sharpness and pointedness make us uneasy and we associate it with unsavoury elements. Even the nose of the witch is ... you guessed it, sharp and pointed. It's almost like we have an unconscious aversion to anything sharp and pointy and we've used these elements to signify evil.

It could be because we know sharp, claw-like objects have the ability to injure us and over the years we have developed a uncanny ability to be distrustful of anyone or anything with these features. 

And this is where Feng Shui comes in. One of the key principle of Feng Shui is always to ensure that no sharp corners or objects are pointing right at you as you sleep or work. Think of them of knives being pointed at you. Some people might say that these things don't affect you but I think our body responds to these features without us even being aware of it. There might be a feeling of unease, not being able to concentrate or even disturbed sleep. Sometimes this can even manifest as illness and that could easily be a result of your body being in a heightened state of alert all the time without you even knowing about it. Perhaps, that's why most of us while thinking the Gherkin is cool, feel uneasy about The Shard. There's just something in us that makes us mistrust these shapes. 

So watch out for these corners. Ensure nothing like that is aimed towards you while you need to rest or concentrate fully. If you can't move out the way, try and shield them with plants or put a large vase of water with cut plants to provide some barrier.